DeShawn Can't Feel His Face....Calls Bron Overrated

It really is not intentional for us here at the neckbeard to have such a myriad of anti-bron posts, but someone has to balance out the amount of coverage, so it might as well be us. As previously noted by our resident Bron hater, the Wizards took down his highness last night and afterward, Deshawn Stevenson commented on a few things regarding the game.  The most telling was his statement, saying, "He's overrated," DeShawn told Mike. "And you can say I said that."  Considering many say he is already the greatest player ever, I'd have to agree in DeShawns assessment at least until the Global Icon can learn to shoot the ball consistently and truly make his players better.

Lebron James....Neckbeard Historian?

Is it possible that Lebron's use of the neckbeard is just an ode to history? Abraham Lincoln famously rocked the neckbeard, as did Henry David Thoreau. Countless men fighting during the civil war used the neckbeard as a sort of morale boost. Maybe I haven't given bron enough credit.

The aformentioned Thoreau.   Could Bron just be a fan of Walden.  The reflection of simple living and natural surroundings?  Maybe he misinterpreted Civil Disobedience, saying that he respected a fan's passion for running on the court, perhaps in his desire to make a statement of his opposition to an unjust state?  


Is it possible?  Is a mild tempered philosopher trapped in the body of a freak? Like Caine wandering the globe in Kung Fu, the legend continues.

Open Letter to Bill Simmons

Dear Bill,

I recently read in your column preview that you do not think Kobe is the MVP. Now I stopped reading your stuff about two years ago because I found your ideas tiresome and without merit. Today, however, I felt compelled to see your reasoning as to why Kobe did not deserve MVP.

You claim that the main difference between LeBron and Kobe is that LeBron doesn't have Phil Jackson, a great bench, or a boarderline All-Star. While this is all true, you fail to mention the difference in records. The Lakers are currently 43-18 while the Cavs are only 34-26. This doesn't even factor in that the Lakers play 2/3rds of their games against western conference teams while the Cavs only play 1/3rd against the far superior conference. Now if the Cavs had the same record with a worse team, you would have a valid point. They, however, are not even close.

You go on to say that if Kobe and LeBron switched teams, that LeBron would be doing just as well while Kobe would be, "gritting his way through every Cavs game on cruise control and leaking fake trade rumors through his agent." Let's assume that LeBron would do just as well (not a given by any means). To claim that Kobe would go through every game on cruise control is just plain irresponsible and without merit. For all of Kobe faults, the one thing he will do is play hard every night. Do you really think that one of the most competitive players of all time would mail it in? Even if he wanted to, the first time some mediocre player like Mike James scored on him, his pride would kick in and he would make sure it never happened again. Cruise control more accurately describes LeBron James on defense. Let's also not forget that Kobe carried a team that started Smush Parker and Kwame Brown to the playoffs twice. After two years of starting Smush, Kwame, Luke Walton, and Lamar Odom around him, Kobe had every right to want to mail it in, and yet he never did.

Your third and final point is that Kobe moped around through the first 15 games. The Lakers started with the hardest schedule of any team. They were still 8-7 in this stretch losing to Houston, New Orleans, Boston, and San Antonio. They also managed to beat Phoenix, Utah, and Detroit. What were Kobe's numbers during this stretch? 27ppg, 6rpg, 5 apg, 47% fgs, 90% fts, hardly mailing it in.

There is nothing wrong with not liking Kobe or loving LeBron, but please don't let it cloud your basketball judgment. Next time you choose your MVP be more responsible with your claims. You are now writing for a credible website, not your casual blog.

-Michael, Santa Monica